I started writing this post before the end of 2015 hoping I would have it published in the first week of January. Well, sometimes things get a bit hard or we feel stuck and there is no point pushing as it wouldn’t come out as we would want it. Sometimes things don’t go according to the plan. Or simply, sometime we just need to let go of any expectations (yes, I am going to write a perfect, well thought about post and only then I will publish it) and just go with the flow. No edits, no filters, just as it is. Raw.
2015 was an intense year. In many ways intense. The scale of emotions was huge, ranging from delightful joy, feeling high on life, to frustration, heartbreak and grief (losing 2 close family members); feeling lost and then high again.
During my Christmas break a year ago I began working on Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte and started 2015 with a releasing ritual . I knew I needed to go within and trust my inner voice to give me the sign, a guidepost for the year ahead.
What I heard was Expansive and Freedom. They became my main core desired feelings for 2015. At that time I had no idea how the expansive and freedom would manifest in my life. But I trusted that what was going to unfold was the best for me if I follow and align with the feelings I desired.
Today I can say that 2015 blew me away with the abundance of opportunities to expand and spread my wings on my creative journey. Just to remind you, up until this end of last year I was only painting tiny pieces of wood or tiles to make jewellery from them. Geometrical shapes mainly on a limited surface. And at some point it felt a bit like in a cage.
At the beginning of 2015 when I felt the voice inside begging for expansion. I took my brushes, paints, inks, paper and started creating my art. And immediately I knew this was what freedom feels like. Do you know this feeling when something is just so good that you can’t imagine how could you live up until now without experiencing it? That something makes your chest open, your lungs filled with air to the brim and your whole body soften in wonderful feeling of comfort. It’s like yes saying, “yes, this is what I’ve always wanted to do/where I’ve always wanted to be. It feels like coming back home.
The whole year 2015 has been my coming back home. It was all about reconnecting with my true passion, a year of self-discovery and new experiences. And I know it is only the beginning. There was excitement, joy, flow, crazy long painting sessions and there was also doubt and fear but I embraced it all! For there is nothing more precious to the feeling of being at home, with myself and with all that is. And to learn from it along the way.
Listening to own heart is crucial if you want to feel at home in this sense. So I listened and surrendered to my heart.
When I listened to my heart, my creativity exploded and within just few months I:
created series of paintings in various media
donated my artwork to Sea Shepherd fundraising art auction
collaborated with Sarah Wilder of The Fifth Element Life in her
111 Mandala Meditation Magick Colouring E-Book
painted a floor art at SILO Paddington
participated in the Celebration of the Female Form exhibition
participated in Small Works exhibition
created several commissioned paintings
painted about 30 kids at my first ever face painting gig
created Chakra mandala cards with my hand written affirmations
created series of Zodiac signs prints that can be personalised with name and date of birth
and created many more artworks, sketches, came up with creative ideas etc. My creativity truly was blossoming in 2015! And it felt so good!
Throughout 2015 I was blessed to receive inspiration and guidance from amazing women around the globe: Ezzie Spencer, Pixie Lighthorse, Belinda Davidson, Flora Bowley, Brene Brown. I also connected with a group of amazing women here in Brisbane and I feel truly lucky that our paths have crossed and excited for adventures that are ahead us.
2015 was a bit like a super express train where I jumped on board at high speed and enjoyed the ride. Though at the same time, because of this unexpectedness and high intensity I had a feeling as if I wasn’t fully consciously planning and creating the journey ahead but rather improvising on the go. And many times it was a bit hard to catch my own breath. It was a truly speedy beginning of something new and exciting.
Today, I bow my head in gratitude and honour this journey. Today I am thankful for all the lessons, all the people who walked this path with me, be it even for a short time. I honour myself and all my inner wisdom and every single moment when I surrendered to it. I honour the moments of doubt and fear and everything they taught me and I honour my inner strength that allowed me to to come back to myself over and over again.
Today I honour you all, who joined me on the journey with all highs and lows.
As I was reflecting on the year gone and tapping into my intuition and guidance for 2016, the word TRUST appeared. So I am entering this new chapter carrying trust in my heart. More about it soon.
Thank you for joining my journey. May we soar together and experience the story unfolding for us all in 2016.
With big love and smile,
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